About

The official record: fifty-seven, parent of two wonderful daughters now grown and building their own lives, grandparent of a beautiful baby boy.  They are the good, the best of my life.  After a lifelong struggle with gender dysphoria, I transitioned in 2003.  I’m a feminist and dyke, once co-hosted the now defunct feminism board on iVillage (as well as its politics today debate board and further back, friends and families of lgbtq folk.)

If you follow this space, you are aware of how I melted down prior to and during my transiting of gender lines in 2003, and it resulted in a felony conviction from my mismanagement of self-employment.  From June 2009 to March 2011, I served time in a federal prison camp (the kind without fences.)

I volunteer at Planned Parenthood, and attend school on a health career track.

Over the last four years, my online writing evolved away from a means of opining on issues (message boards and starting in 2005, a blog) and sharing snippets of my life into a variety hour, opining on topics of interest, writing issues, and posting occasional snippets of novel work or a complete short story.

Prior to 2000, never did creative writing tickle my interest.  Three plus years in, my world would be poorer absent obsession to craft stories and commit them to paper.

My writing skill developed through work, honed over the last fourteen years by personal interactions online, inspired by the highs and lows, joys and hurts, of my life generated by the crossing of the gender lines society draws around us.  Inspiration comes from experience, from people I love and from people I admire. Story subjects might be serious – I do tend to write serious – or they might serve to lighten my mood.  There are some stories I will pass on writing, because something inside resists the effort.  In general, family remains off limits by self imposed restriction, but other things related to gender experiences tie to hurts I’ve little wish to revisit. I’ve written thirty-five pages of a story only to trash it for heavy resistance to further exploration.

There are stories in change, in drama displacing us or that eviscerates our comfort zones.  How others view us depends on the person from whom we seek an opinion.  We may be the initiator or we may be the recipient, the hero, or the villain, liked or disliked, loved or hated.  Those oppositional outlooks arise out of drama, in our life, in the life of another, from how well we dealt with the circumstances of that event.

For most of my life, drama played inside of me as I coped with something unseen but constantly present, known only to me.  Over the last decade and a half, it all became unmanageable and uncontrolled, and erupted with life shredding force.  My need to write arose from the struggle to overcome and survive.  It provided an outlet for the memories, the hurts, the ploughing onward and the successes, a relief valve easing the pressure of my own harsh judgement of self.

Life moves forward, I trod onward, in writing, in life.

nelle

You can reach me at nellewrites at comcast dot net

Note: the blog footer is in hieroglyphics, spelling ‘nellewrites’.

28 thoughts on “About”

  1. Hi Nelle!

  2. Hi Nell,
    I, like you, blog to get my creative juices flowing. I’m 60, on the wrong side of employment, and trying to relish the opportunity that brings. I raised two sons and two daughters. I am a fiction writer, too. Love exploring a world I created.

  3. I like your clever writing, and from what I read so far, I like your openess and bravery too. keep going!

  4. I love your passion and thoughts on writing.

  5. You have been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award. Congratulations! You can check it out here: http://neekswrite.wordpress.com/2011/10/07/me-are-you-sure/

  6. You probably already have a lot of this with you and yet here I am passing the Versatile Blogger award to you. Check this out: http://justbeingthoughtful.wordpress.com/2011/12/01/question-25/

  7. ive read but never noticed the link on the blog roll so sorry for not paying as much attention to that part! i love the honesty in your posts, and I hope you do carry on for a long time. Its so refreshing 🙂

  8. Happy Holidays, Nelle! I wish you a very happy, healthy, fun-loving and harmonious Christmas and New Year.

  9. Scriptor Obscura said:

    Hi Nelle, I just found this poem while browsing through the blogosphere, and I just thought that I would share it here with you. When I read it I immediately thought of you and I thought about how perfect this poem is for you. I hope that you will like it, and that you will accept it in the spirit in which it is intended, a spirit of kindness and friendship. Here is the poem, just in case you or anyone else may care to read it:

    http://jeglatter.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/being-a-woman/

    Enjoy. And keep on writing! You are an inspiration to me, Nelle. I always look forward to your thoughtful and insightful comments on my blog, and to reading what you write here. Thank you for having the courage to share your own stories here with all of us, and for your kindness and considerate, reasoned perspectives. It is a breath of fresh air here on the blogosphere, which is so often polluted by wackos and hate. I love your blog, and I have added it to my blogroll.

    Thank you very much,

    Scriptor Obscura 🙂

    • *blush* thank you. I’m rather humbled but appreciative. You know I appreciate your writings as well, and if you don’t… 😉

      Loved the poem.

      Hate is not a good thing, and I don’t wish to associate with it. I allowed it to consume me once, another major lesson in life from two decades ago, and I extracted myself from that ugliness before the bigger challenge you’ve seen me write about. As a Reiki practitioner, five simple things guide me… not be angry, not worry, be grateful, do work honestly, be kind to all living things. I’m hardly perfect, and sometimes it takes a lot of soul searching, self-admonishment and such, but… those things will inevitably cool my jets.

  10. Scriptor Obscura said:

    Hi Nelle, I am just curious if you have seen the movie Transamerica, and if so, what is your opinion of it, and of its portrayal of those who are transitioning/transgender?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transamerica_(film)

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0407265/

    I would be very interested to hear your take on this movie, and if you found it offensive, or accurate in its portrayal of what it is like to be transgender?

    I value your opinion. I have not watched this movie yet, and I just thought that I would ask your perspective on it first.

    Thank you very much.

    • I did see this one. I know the TG community did find some fault with it, but in general, I enjoyed the movie. For the most part, the story centred on the relationship of parent and child, and love that the focus (aside from one inane sequence of her dressing) wasn’t so much on transformation. That’s the stuff that irks. Folks, this isn’t about clothing, it’s about correcting bodies (for transsexuals, as opposed to say crossdressers, androgynes, and drag queens/kings.)

      I know people love the before and after, but for transsexuals, the after is what matters, moving forward, being recognised for who we are (in the accepting sense, rather than the read/out sense.)

      By all means, watch the movie, it’s worth it. Another you might like (while not directly stated to be about someone tg, it’s rather obvious in the watching…Breakfast With Scot.

      As with all people really, we are unique… some introverted, some extroverted, each falling along a spectrum of three basic tracks – gender track, physical track, attraction track (what some call sexual orientation.)

      It’s a complex subject, and actually I just fired off an email to Dr Anne Lawrence, herself a transsexual, who used to provide a great service with the medical info on her website. Now she has this inane theory she’s trying to dump across many of us (those of us transdykes), and it pisses me off.

  11. I just sent a comment asking when you transitioned but I have just read it here. Your words are very powerful and I really look forward to reading your posts.
    Juno

  12. Scriptor Obscura said:

    I just found this and I immediately thought of you. I hope that you will enjoy it as much as I did:

    the beauty of becoming

    The little poem below the photo is what made me think of you.

    And by the way, I often find it difficult to express how I feel, but I just want you to know that your lovely comments on my blog mean more to me than I know how to say. You are a treasure, Nelle, and your presence here on the blogosphere has touched me more than you can ever know. You are a wonderful woman. Though we will probably never meet in person, I have treasured our interactions here on the blogosphere, and I am so glad to have come across you and your blog.

    As they say in spanish, un fuerte abrazo. (Literally translated, “a strong hug”).

    *hugs*

    Scriptor Obscura

    • It’s lovely. Thank you for thinking of me, and for your kind words. I’ll offer a big *hug* right back!

      There are some subjects that are difficult just to scribble out, and sometimes… returning to them can be painful as well. I get that.

      I’ve studied so much on the first half of 20th century Europe, read and read and despite the study, it barely carves a dent in the madness, and it never slots into answers. In Boston, not far from Government Square, there are for glass pillars http://static.panoramio.com/photos/large/8278227.jpg etched with the identification number marked on their skin. Whenever I walk through, when I look up and see the near endless numbers, the feeling is indescribable. No human can make sense of it.

      I’m honoured to connect blog to blog with your Scriptor… take care.

  13. Limebird Writers have nominated you for The Beautiful Blogger Award! Congrats -http://limebirduk.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/beautiful-blogger-award/

  14. I hope my comment is not going through twice, because the last one I wrote just disappeared before I was quite ready to post it. Anyway, I will attempt another one: I found you via Claire ‘Word by Word’ and she is absolutely right: you are a great writer and obviously (judging by all the comments here) a great friend and encourager of writers. And what a life you’ve had so far! I look forward to reading more of you.

  15. I’ve tagged you Nelle in the ‘Be Inspired’ blog hop – check out my post ‘A Piece of the Mosaic’
    to find out more.

  16. Haven’t read this, but saw someone recommending it & thought of you.

    The Panopticon by Jenni Fagan – review http://gu.com/p/37tf3/tw

    • I totally missed this and just checked it out today… interesting concept. Prison, even the minimum security variety I experienced… ugh. 🙂

  17. I nominated you for an award! Check out my blog for the details.

  18. WordsFallFromMyEyes said:

    I can’t believe I haven’t looked at your ‘ABOUT’! I didn’t realise you have two daughters, Nelle, some reason I thought you only have one.

    I like this, Nelle: “My writing skill developed through work, honed over the last fourteen years by personal interactions online, inspired by the highs and lows, joys and hurts, of my life generated by the crossing of the gender lines society draws around us.” I think we all do develop our skill and style through interactions with others. As for the ‘society draws around us’ – well stated.

    Cheers to you, Nelle, and glad you’re still at it.

    I find it difficult to find your latest, and that’s why I hit old themes. You don’t seem to have a ‘home’ button, or a calendar where I can choose today – only selection of category, not time… which is interesting!

    🙂

    • Thanks… clicking on the blog title ‘nellewrites’ will bring you to the home page. I don’t write here often now, once a week on average.

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